can't stop crying

Ttc is really getting to me. We just started seeing a specialist last month but waiting for AF to show (march 10th) to do further testing. We have been trying for 2 years. We conceived 5 years ago but we weren't ready so I have an abortion (the pill). Husbands semen anylsiis was perfect, ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries was good(saw a mature follicle). My gyno did progestrone, prolactin, thyroid, fsh and a few others. All normal. I have been so depressed all day and couldn't get out of bed. Idk what else to do. I would love some advice on how to stay positive during this process. Or just how to cope. I blame myself for the abortion 😢