thought I was okay

Today I decided to go out to breakfast with my family. I didn't realize my cousin was coming with her 4 month old baby. I thought I was ready and needed to face to world because I go back to work Wednesday but I wasn't ready I tried so hard not to cry at the table with everyone loving on the baby and talking about breastfeeding and everything else that I feel I will be missing out on now. I was only 9 weeks and I feel like I have no right to be as hurt as I am but I can't help it.