Pain and bleeding during/after sex

For the past few months I've found it hard to get into sex because it's so painful to start off. I've been with the guy for over a year and it's always been a bit difficult to get started, but recently it's been unbearable. At first it would just hurt a lot until things got going, then it went on to me finding the smallest about of blood when I wiped (if it was shortly after). Now I can't even keep going, because it's too painful to get past. Last time I bled more than usual, and I noticed a tear just inside my vagina. I've tried lube and stuff in the past, and I'm pretty wet anyway. I think some of it is down to him having a big, girthy dick, and me being petite. I know I should go and talk to a doctor but I'm phobic, so I'm hoping some people on here have been through this before. Is there anything that anyone would suggest?

(Side note: I know I could just stop having sex, but a ho gotta do what a ho gotta do)