would you allow your soon to be ex in the room for delivery?

Question

Hey all. My husband and I have been separated since January and since then I have found out he's been with another woman. I had a feeling he was with her and "not just friends" but I found out more info that leads to me to believe they're definitely hooking up.

Anyway. We have a one year old together already and my next baby is due in June ( also his). If I have to have a c section again I am not so sure I want him to be the person in the room with me. I am all for letting him be in the room if I have a vaginal birth since I can have more than one person but I am having a hard time letting him be the only person allowed with me during the c section . Knowing that he's messing around while I'm pregnant pisses me off and makes me question what I allow him to do . I know he's the father and I don't want to take that away from him but I also don't want to give him the control either because he's hurt me enough as it is. What would you do ? Thanks in advance

Answer

In my opinion, during that time you need someone who relaxes you the most and isn't going to stress you out. So if trying to let him be there with you put stress on you then I would tell him that and get someone else to be there with you. You already have to be under a lot of stress due to being sliced open the last thing you need is to be stressed because you can't stop thinking about him messing around.

Answer

Personally I wouldn't let him in the room till it was all over one way or the other. If he is mad that's too bad. It's best to be calm and not stressed out while in labor. So I'd vote for removing the stress of having him in the room at all.

Answer

He can wait, I wouldn't even feel bad. Labor is not the time to be thinking about the stress he's caused and causing. I'd let his behind wait in the waiting room till after birth, skin to skin and first feeding so you can get through it all with the least stress possible...

Answer

Delivery is tough no matter how you're doing it, and if it's stressful to have him there then don't. You need be relaxed and get through things smoothly. It's not taking anything away from him in my opinion if he's able to see the baby right after

Answer

If it were me, he wouldn't be at the birth at all. If you're fooling around with someone else while I carry your child... you can go be with them while I'm in labor! That's just me!

Answer

I think whatever you feel comfortable with goes!!!

Answer

Vaginal birth or c-section, if you think him being in the room will stress you out, frustrate you and bring up negative feelings then I would just have him wait outside in the waiting room. You definitely need a good support system in the room when you are having a baby. You may want to consider talking to your doctor to see if a vbac is on the table for you (some places won't do it if the babies are close together in age) that way you can have a plan and decide who will be in the room with you in either situation. If you decide you don't want him in the room then just make sure the nurses know and they will make sure he doesn't come in.

Answer

You're the one giving birth so you can choose what ever you want.

would you allow your soon to be ex in the room for delivery?

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