What do you think?

Question

My husband and I had a 10 months old son. He is divorced and has teenager kids from 9-23 years old. His kids lives with the mom. We were planning to move out of city which is like 8 hours from where we live. His former boss hired him. We were excited to move, because he want me to be happy. He told me that his ex do not want his kids to be with me. She do not want him to take two oldest sons to move with us. She do not want his kids to talk with me because she is afraid that they might end loving me as a mother than her. But I'm not going to steal the love of a mother to his kids. I get well with them and I don't treat them mean.
So, I notice that my husband changed his mind and decide not to move. His boss raised him more same like how he would get pay. He decided to stay. Do you think that he is doing it because of his ex, his kids? He said that is not because make me think that is because of her. In this case I don't see that he love me because if he would then he would move with me far away. Hope you all know what I mean...

Answer

It sounds like he more than likely did stay for his kids. He wants to see them. I don't see why that's an issue? It's not for his ex wife, it's because his ex wife is being mean and not willing to let the kids see him 8+hrs away because she doesn't like you.

Answer

You can't just expect him to move 8 hours away from his kids, especially with the youngest being 9 years old. You need to also think about what he wants and how he feels, it's not all about you. Every child should deserve to have a father in their life until they're an independent adult who can actually come visit you themself. Yes you want to move, but you need to have a talk with him to see how he is feeling about being away from his kids - it would be very hard for him to be hours away from them. It's not the ex he's staying there for. And do you really want your 10 month old to grow up without his step-siblings? It would create even more skills and communication, as well as social, interacting and having fun playing all sorts of games that would become memories and stimulate his brain. You just have to ask yourself, would you want that? I wouldn't if there was a chance if I had a child and they had a possibility of having a step-sibling.

I know the feeling of being away from my own father, having been around him for my whole life until a couple of years ago. Yes I am a young adult but it is still hard to be away from someone you grew up with and looked up too. He lives 17+ odd hours away from me and only visits me a few times a year when he can.

Sorry if I completely misunderstood anything of what you were trying to say or where you're coming from. I'm just going off of what I have read.

Answer

Decision is based on what his ex said he's probably afraid she won't let him see his kids he can always take her to court & get visitation rights... he has to think about his future with you & his career

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