TMI: guilty feeling after orgasm? 😒

Lately every time I have an orgasm, it's like a guilty feeling right before the orgasm. This use to happen when I was younger and mastubating which lead to me never having the orgasm . But usually it's right when my boyfriend has been so concentrated so I just let it out but it leaves me feeling gloomy and upset . I do know how the feeling is caused, whenever he makes me orgasm by oral It's fine, I don't feel the gloominess. UNLESS he plays with my nipples, my nipples were always a sensitive thing that I never allowed to be played with cause of the feeling but it's like a button to make me orgasm so wtf 🤦🏻‍♀️😭 It makes me feel like shit but it's a huge turn on. Idk what is this 😒😒😒.