am I a bad mother already??

I'm not really excited about having my baby as I should be.. I find out the gender & im actually scared because i want a little girl so bad.. I'm afraid that if its a boy I will be disappointed and cry and that will be very ungrateful of me. Plus I have no support from my SO at all, I really feel like I'm in it by myself & he's the one who influenced me to have the baby.. I'm starting to think is this gonna be a regret?? I'm young and know that a baby will make these harder for me, I wanted to be living my life.. If my SO would make it better for me and be supportive I think I would feel better about this pregnancy.. I also feel bad because I'm letting a man determine my happiness.. Can you guys please give me some encouraging words that'll help me?? Please