I miss him

There's days where I think I've moved on, where I think I've gotten better, but I pass a certain place, or I smell a certain smell, hear a certain song, and I miss him all over again.

He was good to me, so good to me. He always did anything and everything just to see me happy. Especially when depression would creep on me. When he had a long day at work, he'd take me out on a date. He saw things in me, that I didn't. He helped me step out my comfort zone and try new things. With him everything was an adventure, even if it was just grocery shopping. He was perfect. He was everything I searched for many years. He was home. Yet at the time I didn't realize it. He gave me the world, but even then that wasn't eneough. I wanted the moon. I was too blind to realize how much I was draining him. I was ignorant and selfish. I shouldn't have walked away that night.

There hasn't been a second in my life where I don't regret what I did. If only I could speak to him one last time, I'd tell him how thankful I am for everything he did for me. How he was good enough, more than good enough. I shouldn't have let my insecurities get in the way of our relationship. If I could go back in time and fix it all, I would, but I can't. I want to tell him that I love him and that I am sorry that it took me so long to realize it. I am so sorry for everything. I know I fucked up. I fucked it all up.