any LEOW's out there?

My husband has been a Sheriffs Deputy for 3yrs now, and very unfortunately was involved in a shooting in our area on Sunday. My husband had to make a very quick life or death decision, the suspects life (who was trying to takes his), or his own... My husband was very much in denial of the serverity of the situation, and I really don't think that it hit him, that is until last night. He had to have a mandatory department psych evaluation and talk through every detail, and when he got home was just a mess! Like him, this is my first time dealing with something like this. I find myself just crying and crying, selfishly just thinking of what I could have lost, HIM, the love of my life and the father of my child! I find myself not being a very good rock for him, I feel like I can't talk through this tough time with him without crying, I can't find the right comforting words. I just want him close to me, and our daughter. Has anyone else had to do unfortunately go through this? If so how did you help your husband cope, and how did you cope?