Without hesitation, he kicked me in the face and threw my body onto the ground. With all his might and two little hands and fists, he pounded the back of my head so many times I lost track of counting. With each pound, I felt him releasing every bit of hatred he had about me on my defenseless head and all over my weak body. While I was on the ground, all I could think about was, are you doing this out of hatred? How do you hate me so much? Why do you have so much hatred for me? In a bedroom full of people outside, how come no one is stopping you? But saying, "you guys are idiots for fighting," when only one hand is throwing. He then cursed me, told me I'm worthless, and reminded me, "I beat you up as much as I want to because I'm younger and no one cares about you". That's when I break out into tears. He's right. I watch him walk away so proud like he achieved something miraculous. His face so proud and filled with pride because he was able to beat someone who is older than him (I should be ashamed for letting a little boy beat me up). He then goes and cleans himself up. Without any guilt, he goes to church like he's the best, most holy Christian 

I'm so envious of people like him. 

I cried because I realized no one will ever stick up for me....not my parents because I am a girl and I am the 2nd oldest siblings. I am the black sheep of the family. I cry because my friends will never understand how a kid could do this to you. They would just mock me about how much of a coward I am for letting a little kid do this. But It's okay though. I understand I have to be the bigger person and forgive. It'll get better..one day. 

I had the courage to tell my mom today, she responded, "you must've done something to piss him off", and she also added in, "you just want me to punish your younger brother and not you". HONESTLY, I want her to do nothing, but listen to what has happened. BUT I WISH...I wish I wouldn't have told her, it just proves even more she doesn't care or believe me...NO ONE WILL/DOES.