vaginismus

Okay I am 21 and have had 4 sexual partners in my life and it still hurts to be fingered. I can finger myself but it freaks me out.  It has been frustrating for the people I've been with and it has been about 10 times as frustrating for me. Almost certain at this point that it's vaginismus butI've  also been one to self diagnose. I just wanna have sex lol. How do I go about overcoming this? I have an anxiety disorder that is pretty well managed if that is relavent. Never been to a gyno 😬