am I overreacting?

So, long story short I don't enjoy anal no matter how much lube is used and how much I'm relaxed. My soon to be husband says it's a problem and that I need to get over it because it's what he enjoys. I let him finger me but even relaxed it still hurts. We always talk about it and it goes into an argument each time. I don't enjoy at all partly because it hurts and partly because I just don't enjoy it at all. We were talking and he said if I don't give in at some point it would be worth breaking up because that's his preference. I feel dead to him. I feel like I won't be ever good enough. Am I overreacting? I just feel like he's not accepting the fact that after years of trying and telling him it won't work he just doesn't give a fuck about how i feel about it . SOS