anyone else been a surrogate?

Question

I'm thinking of becoming one. I have a lot of questions. But starting mostly with, how did you not become attached to the baby growing inside? I'm scared I will fall in love with the child and it will traumatize me to give it to its parents even though I know it's not mine.

Answer

I haven't, but here's an answer from my friend who has, "The key is to go into it with the mindset it's not yours, and if that slips just talk to the people you're doing it for. Hearing how much love they have to give, you'll know it'll be more than enough for yourself as well. It's definitely rewarding, but still hard."

Answer

That's a beautiful thing to do. I'm 42 and we're ttc our 1st. I'd be forever grateful if someone did that for us if we can't. Best of luck to you.

Answer

I have been a surrogate x 3.   The answer is no matter how much you go into it knowing that child is not yours you DO get attached.  I love all 3 of those boys as my own children.   Genetically they ARE mine. I was a traditional surrogate.   I had pretty bad post pardum depression with all 3 after.   The key for me was getting back to work ASAP.   The first I was out 2 weeks the second 1.5 weeks and the third I went back to work 4 days after having him.    I don't have a ton of contact anymore with the families because there were times when I seen them I was fall back into the depression.    I honestly can say I am glad I could help the two families I helped but I don't know I would do it again.    I have up a lot to do it and I don't regret it but in a way it feels like a little part of me will never come back.

Answer

I've never done it but after ttc for the last 2 yrs I  would be forever thankful if someone did that for me. I can't say it wouldn't be hard for you but knowing you're doing a great thing and giving the true mother the child, knowing you're doing the right thing should make it a bit easier

anyone else been a surrogate?

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