Seriously!!

I just want a BFP. To my family I act like I don't care if I get pregnant or not. And I always say if it happens it happens. But I want it. Everytime I get a negative it hurts a little more. We live 1,300 miles away from any family and my sister who is pregnant calls every once in a while and asks if I'm pregnant yet when I say no she just laughs at me. What's funny about that?!