I just want a BFP. To my family I act like I don't care if I get pregnant or not. And I always say if it happens it happens. But I want it. Everytime I get a negative it hurts a little more. We live 1,300 miles away from any family and my sister who is pregnant calls every once in a while and asks if I'm pregnant yet when I say no she just laughs at me. What's funny about that?! 
It's only been three months and I'm already getting jealous of people who announce. 
"Deep breaths" just needed to vent a bit.