why am I so hurt?

Question

First off, back story... 5 years ago I was involved in a fling with this guy and we fell hard for each other but he wasn't ready for a relationship due to personal reasons I understood. We haven't spoken in years but I'm friends with him on fb and we share a best friend. I am now married and don't get me wrong, I love him, but what me and this guy had was something out of a fairy tale book. I ruined it with him. Well he's been seeing this girl for a little over a year now and today they announced they're pregnant. I'm beyond hurt. I wish I didn't feel that way cuz I'm happy in my marriage but my heart is sunk and I feel like I can't breathe. I'm so heartbroken. He was never the kids kinda guy and when we were together he told me I was the only one he could see himself having kids with and he wanted to. But I can't. I'm infertile pretty much. I'm happy for him but I wish it was me. I know I sound selfish but I can't tell my husband for obvious reasons. He knows how I feel about this guy. But why am I so crushed? We haven't spoken in years or had any kind of relationship for a very long time. I can't stop my feelings for him. Why does this hurt so much? Ugh.

Answer

First off it didn't work out with that guy for a reason.

Second off delete him and have zero contact with him for the sake of yourself and your husband. How would you feel if you found out your husband was thinking/feeling things like that?

Third, forget him. It's in the past, leave it there and love your husband and your life.

Answer

Sounds like you never fully closed that door. God shut that door for a reason but you are trying to keep it open. If you would stop focusing on that and focus on the love that has been placed in your life, you will begins to see something greater than the something you think you had their. If had meant an iota of whatever and all things he had said to you, you wouldn't be married to your husband but would be married to that guy. That guy would not have let you go or even been scared to have a relationship with you. He saw you as his fling and he treated you as such. He said what he had to say to keep sex flowing. However, your husband proved that you  are the woman for him. He married you to keep you there. And who knows, God may even give y'all that child you think you can't conceive. But first you need to burn that old bridge. Close that door.

Answer

I've been there. And it hurt. And I couldn't really figure out why it hurt, either. And then I finally realized that when he truly moved on with another woman, the fantasy was gone. I had to give up the fantasy, and the daydreaming. You call this a "fairy tale" romance, but fairy tales aren't real. I have a feeling that your IDEA of that relationship was better than the REALITY of it. The reality is that he couldn't commit to you. And giving up the fantasy and seeing the reality hurts!! At least it did for me. But, it's also very freeing! Because your reality is that you have a good husband who you love! Now you can be free, and be more present with him, in your truth.

Answer

If he said he "wasn't ready for a relationship," he just wasn't that into you.

Stop romanticizing a fling that didn't go anywhere.

why am I so hurt?

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