engagement fever

When we started going out I told him that I dont want to know anything about him wanting to propose or marriage, so it would stay as a surprise. I do know for sure that he wants to marry me.. i just kinda want him to pop that question ( not necessarily get married) before getting pregnant while I dont want to ruin that surprise I want a lot more to be his fiancé! The goos news is that we are going to Paris for two weeks and there is a good chance he will do it there... but if he doesnt ask me to marry him I know for sure that I will feel so devastated..

I could talk to him.. but I am not sure that I want to..

I could wait.. but I am not sure that I can

I could try to let it go (but lets be real.. dont think thats and option.)

And I could just try and give him some hints (but I am kinda sure that I would ruin it)

I am trying to be the best girlfriend I can be and he is the love of my life. And I would never try to trick him in any mean way.. please ladies, dont judge me for how I am feeling. But I am from a family where everyone has married young and stayed togheter for all life.. and I have been dreaming about a man like him for my whole life..

Please comment about your experience and how you felt or still feel.. that would mean the world to me to know that I am not alone..