Trouble coping

Sorry ladies but I seriously need to vent.

On Wednesday I went into preterm labor with my baby girl Kayleigh at 28 weeks. I had a concealed placenta abruption which caused the labor. After a complicated labor I had my girl on Wednesday night. She was born 2 lbs 6 oz. Ever since my emotions are a roller coaster. She's in the NICU right now and doing well. She's my little scrapper. I was discharged from the hospital 24 hours after having her and now I don't know what to do with myself. I visit her everyday and ready to her but I can't hold her or kiss her. I can only look at her. I breaks my heart every time I have to go home without her. I sit in her room everyday to pump milk but I feel empty without her. I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm not pregnant but she's not here in my arms. She will be staying in the NICU for at least the next month and a half. To make everything worse is my husband has to deploy Monday. I'm not ready for him to take off just yet and I know he's going through his own hell right now with this whole situation. I feel like a failure. Liked I failed him, our daughter, and our 2 yo. I almost feel like I'm neglecting our son emotionally because I'm thinking about Kayleigh and not fully​ on him. I just don't know what to do or what to feel.