Should he have met me go or hospitalised me?
- I'm having more sucidal thoughts since taking the medication
- I plan everything out with each thought, it's a detailed plan, to the point where I'm not feeling safe any more because I know I will eventually act on them at some point.
-it's not that I don't want to live, it's that I want to die.
He told me I was not depressed, by my low moods were the same as when someone says something to you that you don't like. Wtf?! I've quit uni and my job, made 4 sucide attempts, can't even get out of bed but because I can fake a laugh I'm not depressed.
He has this background of me:
-3 sucide attempts via overdose (the 4th he doesn't know about)
I start crying because he doesn't believe anything I'm saying and brushes it off. So what did he do after the meeting, whilst I'm still crying and angry, he sends me on my way, knowing I have to take a bus back to my hometown alone, with 300+ antipsychotics... It doesn't take a genius to work out what happened next to someone who doesn't feel safe and is alone with suicidal thoughts.
The things is, looking back on it, I feel completely dismissed because I was CRYING to him begging for help and he just set up the next attempt for me.
Seriously... I feel like he should have made me go to a psychiatric hospital.
I still don't feel safe with these thoughts and I feel like I will end up acting on them again.
Should I be in a psychiatric hospital? Was he right or wrong? I went to a normal hospital and they discharged me as medically fit but there was no way of me telling any one now I feel.
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