Of course I'll be blessed to be home with my baby and care for her/him. But I'm 18 and have to leave college, a sacrifice I'm okay with taking but the thing that makes me stressed is I don't think I'll be able to return.. my boyfriend has a great job, his dream job but it requires a lot of different hours, it's not steady some days he works regular 8 hours from morning to afternoon and other days he works day and night like 16 hour shifts. Due to this I'm never gonna have the opportunity to return to school or ever get a job to be able to buy my baby things.. 😔 I want to spoil my baby but I know I'll have 0 money to do anything.. not even have gas money to drive anywhere. Stress is definitely taking over. I'll be almost completely alone raising my baby and I can't even financially provide for him/her.. it depresses me so bad. My life is going downhill only good thing is I'm going to be a mom. I can't be the mom I always wanted to be. I'll never have a good job or probably any job at all. I'll be trapped inside the house all day.. I just feel like my life is coming to a permanent pause while my boyfriends is just continuing. It makes me cry everytime to think about it. I feel selfish but I'm not.. I just want to give my baby the best life but I'll never be able to. My boyfriend doesn't and will never understand. He complains about paying for everything already, when I do pay for things too at the moment but what happens when baby comes and he's paying literally everything.. I feel he's going to put me down even more than he does now. No one understands me. I'm sorry for venting I just feel really alone.