Thoughts about giving up?

Question

I am wondering if you have thought to giving up on having a child (or more children). If someone hasn't been pregnant after many cycles, maybe that is a message from God  that that person should not be a parent? I feel like that I am fighting fate, instead of accepting that being a parent may not be in the cards for everyone. Perhaps the time and emotional energy that I am putting into trying to have a child is better use at something that I am able to do. Thoughts?

Answer

This is something I've struggled with a lot lately and last night, I think I reached my breaking point. After my miscarriage this past February, we decided to try again immediately--instead of the years or months we'd given it before. I told him that the longer periods of time didn't lessen the pain and for me, they really don't. I'm scheduled to begin another medicated cycle in a few days as my period is due tomorrow. But to be honest, I think I'm done now. We've been married for 9 of our 14 years together with this portion of our lives on hold. We've tried for years now and have only heartbreak to show for it. So I let him know he's enough. We're enough. It hurts deeply, but I have to believe there's something else for us. I'll gladly welcome a child if we have one and if not, I know we'll be ok.

Answer

Everyone is different. For me we are going to stop short of ivf if we cannot get pregnant.  That is our choice and honestly I am not as strong as these other amazing women who can gonyears and years.  Honestly I accepted going into ttc that not everyone gets the same version of happily ever after.  I can be a spouse and an aunt but maybe not a mother. I'm not giving up, but having that discussion with my husband has released some of the pressure from us.

Answer

Couldn't agree more!! We have bee trying for 2years this month. We have had miscarriages along the way. I have times when I just want to give up completely, and then other days i feel positive and upbeat again. It's general falls with cycles so when af arrives I feel awful and want to just give up, and then when it gets to my fertile week I can't jut forget about it. I have tried to put my focus on other things work/holidays/improving my fitness so it's not everything I think about, and this has really helped x

Answer

I 100% agree with Alyssa. My husband and I are extremely travel and career-minded. We want a baby but we will try naturally for a year, year and a half and stop after that. We will probably get tested but won't proceed to do any non-natural procedures. The costs and stress aren't worth it for me personally. I'd be more than happy to live without children. Sounds harsh, I know 😅 But, if I could choose, I'd have a baby real soon!

Answer

Married for 3 years.  Tried for over a year and a bit. Got pregnant via IUI in August, MC in September at 6weeks. Got pregnant through IUI in December (our Christmas Miracle), baby died last week (no heartbeat at 20 week anatomy scan), delivered stillborn baby with NO knowledge of labor, delivery, pain meds, nothing.  Was supposed to take my hospital tour and childbirth classes in May and June for an August delivery.  Every single report (we covered all bases) indicated everything was great. Praying our way through the pain; it will never go away.  I've had 3 people reach out today to ask how baby and I were doing.  Randomly. We haven't had the courage to share the update yet. God is good though; He has a plan...we just don't know what it is.  I am working through the physical, mental and emotional pain now but I am also hoping that God will bless us again.  Honestly, it's not over till it's over.  Hope my experiences help even in a tiny way.

Answer

I think about giving up every month. We've been trying for 18mths and have had 2 miscarriages in the process. I know God only gives you what you can handle, but this is definitely wearing me out.

Answer

Very sorry for what you have been through. Let's all accept his will.

Thoughts about giving up?

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