Trying for 4years now!

Hey guys! So we have been trying for baby number 2 for 4years now... I dread my period and I hate my ovulation state! I find myself to over sensitive both physically and mentally at this stage of my cycle, that having sex is the last thing I wanna do...it hurts! Hearing my son pray for a baby girl for 3 years straight is hurt breaking and I've run out of answers. In God's time...etc. my husband said he doesn't mind if we do or do not have another one as our son who is nearly 7 is a true blessing! But I'm not sure if I believe him ...as nearly everytime we have sex he brings me a pregnancy test! I know I should be grateful for 1 but you know when you had a dream and just can't seem to shake it. Just feel real depressed.😔