am I being selfish?

My baby's father left me he said he didn't love me.. so I decided not to have a babyshower it's hard enjoying my pregnancy with this emotional stress he left me with, he's the one who wanted me to get pregnant.. and one of my reasons is money wise I want to save as much as I can just in case he doesn't give me later on for my baby is it selfish of me not to throw a babyshower?