how's this fair to me...?

Question

When my husband and I were dating we agreed we wanted three kids well it took us forever to get pregnant but we finally had one and NOW he doesn't want any more! He NEVER gets up with her. I have to practically beg him to feed her, like tonight when I was making dinner he expected me to also feed her the baby food. Uh no honey I'm not handling raw chicken and try to feed my kid at the same time. Not happening. He's ALWAYS on his phone and not paying attention to her (no he isn't cheating he's always looking up shit on his truck, his true love.) and when I get mad that he basically lied to me about how many kids he wants and now won't even spend time with his family IM the bad guy. How's that fair?!

Answer

Why would you want more kids with someone who doesn't live up to their responsibility for the one he has?

Answer

Sounds like you had a tough time conceiving your daughter, which may have been more emotional/stresssful for him than you realize. Now that she's here, he's going through a very normal (though frustrating) adjustment: he's learning that you're not as accessible/doting/focused on him as you were in the years when it was just the two of you. Maybe he can't stand the thought of "sharing you" even more with another child. Maybe he feels overwhelmed or incapable of caring for your daughter in the same way you do, and doesn't want to add another child to the mix. It sounds like your daughter is still quite young, and many parents go through a "never again!" phase while in the trenches of diaper blowouts and midnight feedings.

That said, it sounds like you guys are having a hard time communicating with each other. Consider seeing a counselor who can ask some direct questions and provide context for what each of you is thinking/feeling. The best thing you can do for your daughter - and any future kids - is to nurture your relationship with your spouse. Try to be patient and gracious with each other, and don't be ashamed to seek help.

Answer

My husband would say things about no more kids when she was little. Just cause he'd never really been around a baby and t stressed him out with the crying and all. Didn't last long though. I got pregnant when she was 7 mos old lol and he's already talking about the others later that we decided about in the beginning.

I would give him some time and also i would sit and talk to him about how you feel. Men are bad at picking up signals and hints. Help him out and just be straightforward. Tell him the baby months are hard but it'll get better. He may just feel inadequate cause he doesn't know what to do and he's too afraid to ask.

Answer

Sad 🙁

Answer

It's not. You need to lopl at your relationship and decide if that is what you really want. Will you be happy not having another and will his inattention towards the baby continue?

how's this fair to me...?

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