Using someone

Ok, I am not over my ex, and listened to my friend's stupid advice which was to go to another guy to get over my last. Obviously didn't work.

Flash forward, and I'm in a relationship with a guy I'm not really interested it. I like his compliments, and I feel good inside when he says he loves me, and sometimes I want to do romantic things with him, and Other times, I just don't want to even acknowledge his exist. I say true but hurtful things to him, in order for him to leave, but then stupidly start feeling bad, and selfish and run back. I get that makes me a shitty person. I'm just trying to break this cycle, call me what you will, but please at least leave advice for me not to run back everytime.