best friend....denial... 😩
I call my best friend today to wish her a happy birthday from 1300 miles away... she decided to tell me that she found out she is pregnant. I didn't know she was trying for another and she never told me. She knew we have been trying since October 2016 when we got married and still no BFP. I said I'm so happy for her. Little does she know it hurts and I broke down today. Yet again, someone got pregnant around me and this would be the 4th person. I had a pity party for myself. She didn't just find out either. She is 17weeks. She said she didn't know how to tell me. I played it off because I wanted her to be happy and also have a great birthday, but I was not ready to hear that my best friend got pregnant and I had no clue they were trying for their 2nd child. I know I'm not the only one on this sailboat without sails. It just SUCCKSSSS. I hear all of the 2cents...
"it will happen when it happens... relax"..
" God has plans, trust in him"
"When you stop worrying, it will happen."
"Have you seen your dr yet?"
" have you tried(new idea that worked for maybe one person out of a million)?"
Either way, I know one day I will be a mom, and a wonderful one at that. But me being the most generous, kind, loving, loyal person that I am, I want to be selfish and ask when is it my damn turn? So many people are just waiting for the moment it happens around us...And let me just give you an example. I have 3 sisters. 31,20,15 yrs of age. My 20 & 15 yr old sisters live with my stepmother 1300 miles away. I send a Mother's Day card out and a yankee candle gift out. My stepmom receives both items. She asks if she can open the box(contains candle) and I said sure with your card as well... she said that my 20 yr old sister opened the card Bc she wanted to see if it was a pregnancy announcement to mom... for real girls!!! She ripped open her Mother's Day card only to see that it is not a pregnancy announcement. I'm the first person in my family to be trying for a child and my husband is the last to be trying in his. Needless to say everyone is anxious around us. But still, all in all, the struggle is real, and I don't know how much longer I can take the suspense and denial of one of life's gifts. ❤️
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