Bullied Again...

I have not always been fat, I was 120 pounds in the Army. I could run 3 1/2 miles in a little under 45 minutes. (I know that's not a big deal but it was my personal best) Then I was in an accident... everything changed... The depression, the new meds, the health issue the weight gain. Then I got pregnant so even more weight! I let myself go, I know I did. The thing is I don't eat that unhealthy... I have struggled to love myself and I really was loving my new Steven Universe shirt my fiancée got me when I posted it to iFunny... then this happened... But what they don't know is how I go to the gym, try to eat better. I try... I have DID, and very suicidal. I just can't take it. I'm literally balling. I put on a brave face but I HATE myself