Ttc is frustrating

Its frustrating to me personally because i find myself having symptoms even what feel like and looks like implantion bleeding and a week later i get my period. I try not to stress it because i know that deff doesnt help. But i cant help obsessing over it. My finance isnt aware of me obsessing i dont want him to think im crazy. But ever since he asked me to stop taking bc i help but want to give him the gift of being a father. We both have children from previous relationships. When i was a teen up until i concieved my son i had no problem...iv had 3 mc as a teen idk if that has something to do with me not being able to concieve later in life. But i really want one more child before im 30...i am currently 28 and my finance is 37 are time is ticking...i just had to get this off my chest sigh* felt like i was holding my breath...much baby dust to all 😊😊