How do you accept that you can never have children of your own? How do you stop trying? How do you get past the heart break, every time you see someone else get pregnant, or see a commercial about pregnancy or babies?

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stop crying. We talked about adoption before... my husband is full steam ahead trying to figure out what we need to do to adopt a baby.... but now... I don't know. I need time to mourn the babies I'll never have. Never feeling a life growing inside me, watching my husband's face when he feels a baby kick in my belly, never breast feeding... How do you get past that?

And if you do adopt, how do you not treat that child like it's a consolation prize? I'm so scared that if we adopt, I won't be able to let it go. I won't be able to love that child, because I'm so disappointed in myself.

How do you stop blaming yourself? When all the tests say your husband is fine, they can't find a problem with you... but clearly there is something wrong with me. I havnt gotten pregnant once in my life. Never even had a pregnancy scare. There has to be something wrong with me.

I just feel so lost.