Am I Crazy?

Question

Anyone else out there feel like they're crazy for wanting to do relationships the "old fashioned" way? 😔 I'm all for casual sex/hook ups/whatever. Really, I believe you should do whatever makes you happy. But whenever I tell a guy, or any of my friends that I just want to take things slow, date for awhile, get married, then have kids, they look at me like I'm insane, or tell me I'm boring, or even that I don't know how relationships work. I don't necessarily want to wait till marriage to have sex (I've had casual hook ups before) but I at least want to be in a serious relationship with a promising future. I just want a guy who has the same kind of mentality, but I feel like they're so rare. Especially college-aged guys. I'm starting to worry I'll be alone forever. My 14 year old sister has probably had triple the number of boyfriends that I have, and I'm a junior in college. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Sorry, just needed to vent. 😕

Answer

You aren't crazy. All through school, and especially into college men have talked to me and treated me as if I were some perfect virginal prize that they needed, they obsessed, they wrote letters, poems, found my number, texted me in the morning and evening, waited by my bus stop etc. When I would not be had they grew cold, often harassed and critiqued and made comments about my body in ways that made concrete to me the twisted view most young men had of women. They would attempt to claim me, to win me, propose marriage to me, but not to know me, not to befriend me. I decided early that my self respect meant more to me than being fawned over for some man's gain. I was digusted. It wasn't that I was prudish or cold. It wasn't that I wasn't lonely. I determined I would never marry. But you never know.

Answer

I completely relate. I still have a casual hookup once in a while when I'm feeling lonely, but if I'm going to consider dating a guy, I've decided that this time I will wait until we're serious to have sex. My last two relationships started out with sex and it led to me later doubting how much they actually loved me or if they just enjoyed the sex - I'd much rather be sure of the guy I'm with than to put myself through that self-doubt and paranoia again. But I can become very emotional about sex and I know a lot of men see it as just a physical act, even when they do care about the girl they're having sex with. It gets confusing and it would just be easier to establish a caring and trusting relationship first.

Am I Crazy?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products