Tell me the funniest thing your dad has said

When I was a teenager my dad once was talking to me about my sister's asshole husband and he started saying he was a "dick" but he realized he didn't want to say that in front of me so he panicked and changed it to "dildo." So it sounded like "he's just a di...ldo." Like dad, honestly, saying dick would have been better. Now it's just awkward. Who the hell calls someone a dildo? 😂😭