Today I went to one of my close friends baby showers. This was so hard for me. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but it was bittersweet. I'm so happy and excited for my friend but seeing all the baby stuff and her pregnant just makes me want to cry. Here I am going on 11 and a half months ttc and having had one miscarriage. I want to be happy but all I wanted to do was cry. I'm such an awful person...