I'm 19 and just finished my freshman year in college. He's 20 and doesn't plan on finishing college, but recently received an amazing opportunity financially. Here's the issue: my mom's priorities lie greatly with going to college, marrying my "equal", etc. I understand her values and where they come from, and I can, as a rational and decent human being, respect them. However, I don't feel that she returns that respect: she'll say things like "I want you to be happy but just think about this... Just remember this... Etc." She even told me that she thinks my self esteem is low because I'm dating someone who's choosing a different path than I am. To say the least, this is really hurtful. I value and love her because she's my mom, but not having her full support in strengthening my happy, healthy relationship is frustrating. It culminated in me talking about me and my SO's plans to move in together in 2-6 years. Because my SO doesn't want anyone to know about his opportunity until it grows and he can have the money to show his success, all she sees is me dating a guy who isn't going to college. She can be very cynical, and she tends to project her predictions of my future into my head as though she can see my future and needs to "guide" me into what she thinks is right for me. It's not to say that her point has no merit and that I am always right, but I know myself well enough to know that what she "wants and hopes for me" is not what I want and it's not what will satisfy me and be best for me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and success-wise. It seems that she's attempting to guide me into a relationship with someone that she feels that she never had herself.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with a parent or older adult in their life? How do you walk the line between respectful and self-guiding without allowing the cynical predictions and the tension get into your head and in the middle of your otherwise wonderful, satisfying relationship?