Has anyone here ever had a full/partial molar pregnancy?

When I was 19 I became pregnant while in college. I was so freaked out. I decided that I was going to give my child up for adoption so they could have the best possible life. I even had the family picked out and everything. If you're familiar with molar pregnancies, you know that they can mimic perfectly healthy pregnancies. I thought the severe symptoms I was experiencing was totally normal. Up until I started throwing up blood, fainting, etc. Immediately rushed to the hospital. My HCG levels were 350,000+ at four months pregnant. They did an ultrasound, much to my dismay there was no viable fetus in there at all. This loss, even five years later is so overwhelming. I feel less of a woman because of it, i am a life vessel that cannot bare life! My boyfriend and I are trying and I'm beginning to feel symptoms again 2 weeks before my period is even due. Really stressed out.