how do I deal with the guilt of abortion?

I got an abortion because at the time everyone I loved and trusted told me to. Now I'm depressed and I can't talk to anyone in my family about it because I'm ashamed of it and the people that know get angry that I cry about it and just say "I don't know why you even care you should thank us because of us you didn't guck up your life" I can't sleep at night and I get so angry at them for not letting me go through with my own decision. I can't look hold or be around babies anymore without crying. How can I get help?