am I selfish

Finding out I was pregnant with my second child scared me , I was traumatized with my 1st my body couldn't handle it but I pushed through and now I have a beautiful 1 year old girl , but this one I just couldn't do it , I cried everyday, I was sick everyday, I just wasn't happy, I also cried because my boyfriend wasn't happy about me not wanting the baby & I felt bad for not being happy , I just feel like I put my own life on the back burner & this suppose to be my year to accomplish all my goals , and a baby wasn't part of it , I kept postponing my date nd I finally went on the 26th I wasn't sad my mind was completely made up " yes this my 1st and only abortion " after taking the rest of the pills everything happened instantly, but the pain wasn't really bad until today when does this go way ? Im just ready for it to be all over with ! I don't mean to sound heartless but I had no intentions on getting pregnant, nd I will never have another abortion because this was an honest mistake if it happens the second time that's my responsibility, nd I love baby's ! 💕 my little girl is my world!