pay my taxes for what??

Question

So I've been trying for well over a year to get pregnant. Took a lot of talking me in to going to see my GP about the fact that there's been no joy yet. After 4 large vials of blood have been taken from me I'm told that: 1) the nurse did my 2-5 day test rather than the 21 day test like she should have 2) because I'm 5 months off of turning 36 I don't qualify for any treatment 3) because my husband has a child from a previous relationship that automatically zeros out our chance of getting any kind of treatment (medication or IVF or anything) on the NHS so if we want it we have to pay for it!! My husband had his son 8 years before we met, why should I be punished for that? And what difference should it make if we are struggling to conceive anyway? It makes me so mad that all my results were ok and they could send me off with a course of some kind of boosting tablets and it could work but no I get punished because he made a decision 14 years ago! Someone seriously remind me why I pay my taxes? It's certainly not for the healthcare I'm apparently not entitled to and yet there are some "kids" who have 6 different kids by 6 different dads before they hit 30 and continue to do it because of the benefits money they get who wouldn't know good parenting or how to love their kids if it smacked them in the face and they get to carry on this way?! I just want one. One child of my own to love and take care and this is how I get treated? Well done UK. Tell you what I'll pay double taxes next month just because I like growing money away. Sorry emotional fuelled rant over.

Answer

I'm in the same bust so can totally sympathise. Trying for my first (hubby's 3rd) for 18 months now

Answer

I understand but don't give up.

I've just completed my two NHS Ivf rounds and wish I hadn't bothered and wish I had gone straight to private at the start.
The NHS treatment is the same for everyone and not Individualised ... They can only provide the basics and do not allow you to top up. Which means the tests I had weren't appropriate to me. This ment the medication plan they gave me was wrong for me. So I had two failed cycles and wasted a year and a half.
I have now started again with a new clinic (paying privately) and they are sending me for the right tests to find out if ivf with my own eggs is even appropriate for me!!! I really wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to bother with the NHS cycles.

Good luck with what you choose to do next x x

Answer

Wow, what a broken set of rules they hold you to! I wish I had more to say other than I'm sorry. That's very unfair. As long as a woman hasn't got menopause, she should qualify despite age and they most definitely should not hold your husband's other child against you! I'm blown away😢

Answer

I totally get it - the NHS is an amazing thing in many ways, but when it comes to fertility it's a lottery and all sorts of unfair exclusions 😭 we will get a free round when trying 3 years but still such a long time and my chances will be going down each year - it seems stupid to wait to me!
Have you thought about having a private consultation? We did that just to see what options we had and if could say anything different - went to the Lister clinic. Turns out I have mild PCOS and a retroverted uterus, neither of which my tests on NHS have told me so far!

He also prescribed me letrozole to try - at least it feels like we are doing SOMETHING. Or can your doctor not try prescribing that? It's just the cost of the prescription... (consultation was £500 extra to begin with - included consultation with Dr, a scan for me and a sample test for my husband). May be worth a consult Just to maybe put your mind at rest and feel like you are doing something ... that's how I felt anyway

In the mean time, I recommend deleting Facebook etc and try not focus on all the pregnant people around - especially the useless mothers, they will never know how lucky they are. And when you DO get pregnant, and you will, you will be so happy and appreciate it more than ever😊 xxx

Answer

This is so unfair !
But don't give up have hope and faith.
When i was trying to get pregnant  every month was fustrating knowing i wasn't pregnant we had tried for 5 months with no joy.
And I decided enough was enogh and and give up on trying to get pregnant insted I just enjoy the sex me and my partner had , a few months later I started to feel unwell I went to the GP to get checked out the pregnancy test they did  was negative but he still send off my blood sample to the lab and few days later the DR called with some exciting  news I was 8 weeks pregnant.  Sometimes  the body and brain just need to be completely relaxed .
Try not to focus on getting pragnant but enjoying the time with your partner and give your body that extea  time .
I hope you get what your heart desires.

Answer

This is so unfair!!!!!!!

pay my taxes for what??

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