Adoption is a huge descision and I know it's going to be really hard. But I'm just giving my baby the life he deserves. And the life that I had growing up I know is not what I want for him. It's going to be messy at times, but there's always ways to fix stuff. I just want to be apart of his life, and know that he is with the best family he can be.  I'm just happy I'm the one making the choices for my baby right now. I just can't go through another closed adoption again. My own life. My own adoption.