Best Friend Is Pregnant and I'm Too Jealous To Be Happy For Her
Yesterday, my best friend texted me a photo of a positive pregnancy test with the words "I'm pregnant" -- and my heart sank.
Before I get grilled or judged, which is ok and maybe something deserve, I'd like to add a bit of backstory.
My friend has a toddler already, she wasn't trying for a baby, she isn't happy in her marriage, and she's been emotionally unfaithful to her husband recently.
All of my friends know I've been trying to have a baby without any luck, but this specific friend texts me almost daily asking if I'm pregnant yet (so stressful and depressing).
When her text showed up on my phone, I first stared at the picture of the positive pregnancy test, taking in the realness and wondering why I never got those two lines with my perfectly timed baby dances, prenatals galore, and flawless history of menstrual cycles.
Next, I responded that I was happy for her.
Finally, I cried. My husband asked me what was wrong, and I showed him the text. He just held me tightly, knowing the pain I was feeling and sadness that my dreams of getting pregnant, motherhood have still not come true.
After letting out the emotion, guilt set in that I wasn't happy for someone that's so close to me. I love this person, and I'll love her baby. Someday, maybe I'll get two lines on a test. Until then, I'll spoil her little nugget.
And then came another text from her. "Hurry up and get pregnant. I don't know what's taking you so long. I didn't even have to try."
I haven't responded to that yet.