SO and my parents 🤦🏼♀️
I am 23 and this will be my first child. My SO is older than me, which my parents are okay with. My SO and I are both paramedics and love what we do. He is very into art, music, literature, and learning new things. He is well read and can talk about any topic. However, when he drinks all that knowledge can make he seem a bit arrogant and obnoxious. I love that is he driven and smart but sometimes it is to a fault.
Last weekend my parents invited my SO, his son and I over to swim and eat lunch. I thought it would be a nice way for them to get to know each other. I also thought it would be something fun for his son to do. (Casual afternoon so everyone felt comfortable). Well let's just say it was far from pleasant. 😣 He drank a bit too much and debated with my mother on several topics. (Their political and religious views are extremely different). I fall more to his side when it comes to those topics. But I would never intentionally be disrespectful to a person just because their views are different from mine.
My mother tried to be kind and blow it off. We left after I had enough and was tired and stressed out. I felt bad for ruining my mother's afternoon and how it made her feel. My father was told later due to him leaving for work early. Both of my parents have since discussed the incident with me. I listened to them and agreed with part of what they had to say. I apologized for the incident and wanted to leave it at that. Even if they do not care for him, I do, we are together and having a child. I can't change that. Nor do I want to. I do wish he had acted better because I know he can be a nicer person than that. He knows he was wrong and wants to apologize to them. He also knows he made me feel bad and he should care how it made me feel even if he doesn't care for my parents.
I thought it was done and over with until yesterday when I saw a text my mother sent to a couple family members. It read "at this point as horrible as it sounds I hope the baby doesn't make it so this doesn't continue" she was referred to my Relationship. I was devastated to read that. I was hurt and angry. She has since asked me how I'm feeling but does she really care?
Should I talk to her about it? I can't help but feel very hurt and angry being around her. I am currently staying at my parents until the apartment complex I applied for has an open unit. I try to stay with my SO as much as I can but the tension between my SO and my parents is stressing me out to the point where I feel completely alone. I want to feel happy and be happy with my family and my SO along with his family but I don't know if that will happen. I value my parents opinion and I love them but I don't know how I am supposed to do things with them for the baby if they don't even want me to have this baby or have a healthy pregnancy.
I don't think my mother realizes that losing the baby would hurt me more than it would hurt my SO, yes it would hurt him but I would be the one going through the pain and suffering of the actual event. I have already suffered a miscarriage 2 months prior to being pregnant this time. I did not tell my family because it wasn't something I wanted to discuss with everyone. My SO and I worked through it and supported each other. I'm very happy about this pregnancy. I didn't think I would ever have children due to medical issues I have. My mother knows this may be the only chance I have at having a baby due to those medical issues and yet she still said those things. I just feel hurt and lost. my SO was not happy about her saying those things either but I wanted to discuss why I was feeling down with him. At the same time I feel like telling him may have just added more fuel to the fire between the three of them.
Has anyone else gone through issues with SO and parents? It is so hard to keep the peace and I just don't have the energy to do it all the time. 😞😣