Can we please stop telling people how they should feel and react to their own TTC journey? I don't think it's fair to police other people's pain. Comparing situations isn't fair because everyone only truly understands what they themselves are going through. Of course someone who has been TTC for 3 months doesn't know what it's like to TTC for 3 years, but you can't hold that against them. But that also doesn't mean they aren't allowed to feel pain. Would you compare the pain of someone who had a miscarriage to someone who lost their 5 yr old, and try to tell the former that they don't know what it's like to lose a child? No! Also secondary infertility is still very devastating because it's almost as if something you had ( fertility) was taken from you. Does someone who was born blind  have it harder than someone who Lost their sight as a teenager? Of course the circumstances are different but what good is trying to compare the two? In either case--whether you're TTC for 2 months or 2 years, baby #1 or baby #3, it is disappointing when your dream isn't being realized. Whether you've been diagnosed with infertility or not, it's hard to see your dreams crushed month after or month (or even just the first month!). Let's try and support each other, regardless of what stage in TTC we are.