"To my friends who got pregnant first try" Such a good read.

Dee
This blog is so spot on, I literally had tears reading it. She pretty much just gushed out what I really felt towards all my friends that are pregnant and are on their second child. 
I hope you take the time to read it as it helped me somewhat during my struggle after my first miscarriage. Acceptance is where I am and to know others have felt the same way, really encouraged me to keep moving forward.
Written by Erica Fraser, Mom break

To my friends who got pregnant first try, while I’m on the outsides still trying…

I’m genuinely happy for you, I really am…but I also ache in pain.

Seeing pictures of all your beautiful children on Facebook makes me smile, but also crushes my heart.

Sometime, I want it delete you as a friend on Facebook, not because I don’t love you, but because it’s too hard to see your happy family, while I feel like I’m living under a dark cloud.

I will sit through all of your baby showers, I will buy the best present, I will smile at all the right moments, but I won’t be happy about it.

When you have the baby, I will do my very best to be happy for your new life as a mom, but it’s not easy, so I may not always be the most supportive.

When you complain about how hard parenting is, I promise to do my best to sympathize, even though I crave those problems so badly.

I can’t help it, but I’m jealous of your life. I’m jealous of all the play dates, the new friendships, the inside jokes, and everything I feel like I’m missing. I want that so badly, but it’s not your fault that I can’t have it.

When you talk about your kids when we’re together, I want to WANT to hear about then, but it just makes me sad….sometimes it’s easier to not be around you. I feel terrible about that, but I genuinely don’t know how to change it.

I wish that for just a second, you could know how hard it was to get your hopes up each month, only to be shutdown by a period slap in the face….then eventually to lose hope all together.

I wish we could go to dinner, and things would go back to normal.

I wish that I didn’t feel bitter and resentful, but I know I’m doing a terrible job.

I’m sorry for not being the best friend, please understand that you have what I so desperately crave…and it’s not you, it’s me.

I’m sorry that I haven’t been a great friend…

Clicking the link doesn't work here but you can google it: 
https://mombreak.org/to-my-friends-who-got-pregnant-first-try/