I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but my story isn't exactly short. Please stick around and try to help me if you can!!

I feel so broken right now. Emotionally and physically. Like what the heck is wrong with me? Why is my body failing me over and over and over again? I need advice, stories, experiences, prayers, words of encouragement. I feel so out of control.

My experiences:

2008- first pregnancy, early miscarriage

2009- my son was born💙

2010- pcos diagnosis after periods didn't return to normal following birth of son.

2013- got off BC pill, started trying for #2

2014- got pregnant, normal pregnancy until 14 weeks when I started passing blood clots. Ultrasound showed baby had passed away at 13 weeks😢

2014- Now. I have had 7 consecutive early miscarriages, usually in the 4th week but some have gotten to the 5th. I am experiencing my 8th chemical pregnancy right now I believe. I haven't gotten blood test to confirm yet, but 2 tests last night were way faint and this morning was negative. Always a sure sign for me that it's over. I was 4 wks 4 days yesterday.

Here is what I know after seeing an RE and getting testing done.

1. Mthfr c677t heterozygous

2. Antithrombin III was high (clotting disorder)

3. Homocysteine was slightly high (13.1)

4. Progesterone low ( but I've know that and have used supplements in each pregnancy)

This time my regimen was:

1. Daily baby aspirin before BFP

2. Folgard (I took folate that I ordered online as well)

3. 200mg progesterone suppositories (3 times daily)

4. Lovenox injections after BFP

Even after all of this I am still going to lose this pregnancy. I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's taking over my life. I hate the person it has made me. When women around me become pregnant I congratulate them and act happy for them but on the inside I'm dying. I envy them and compare myself to them. I say why not me? I hate that. I feel so weak eight now. I need help. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for taking the time to read this.