Baby fever turned depression

Alexandria β€’ πŸ’™4/10/18 πŸ‘ΌπŸ’™ HELLPS Survivor

So within the last few years I've noticed a lot more baby fever than ever. Heck in 2016, SIX TEEN, yes that's right 16, of my closest girls/family had a child. At first it was like well duh that's why I have so much baby fever going on. Everyone else has a baby and I don't. Which I can be kind of jealous. And I worked through my jealousy. I honestly did. I'm truly happy for my friends and family and their families. But these last two months I've been so hectic about baby fever and wanting a little one of my own it's really starting to get to me. I'm constantly either sad, angry, or just neutral past any recognition along with being tired. So so tired. And for me that's very wrong. I'm a very upbeat, calm, energetic person. I've talked to my boyfriend about it (he has 2 himself, a toddler and a baby, which is a whole other story lol). My boyfriend and I agree that neither of us are ready for a child together. It's getting to the point where the other day I almost didn't take my pill, which was behind his back, because I wanted to get pregnant so badly. I did end up taking it after staring at my pill for 30 minutes though.

I guess what I'm looking for is others that are or were in the same boat and some way to cope.