But that's not it. Well here goes ...

I am 26 and my husband is 57 we've been to together for 2 yrs however we just got married on May 4th. 

A few months ago (Dec) he ask me "Why don't you stop taking the pill and let's see what happens?.." I know he had been noticing me melting over babies, staring at preggers and pointing out the new maternity boutique. 

I explained to him it was just a phase.. " I know it's ridiculous for me to want a baby, I don't think we can deal with all that right now. I don't think I could go through that again." 

See, three years ago I had my first (only) daughter. 

During this pregnancy I had hyperemesis (feel free to spell check) which basically means morning sickness lasts all day everyday up to about 16 weeks.. except mine lasted up until I was about 7 months pregs. So in the first 3-4 months I lost about 12lbs I couldn't even hold down water and for some reason Docs didn't want to send me home with more that 1 weeks worth of Meds to avoid vomiting. I was at the hospital quite a bit. At 7 months I was put on bed rest by my Doc. I couldn't work. 

My daughters father was upset... not worried about my health but financial stress. He never said it but I think he blamed me for it. But it was always clear to me he could care less, the one feeling I hate is being a burden/problem  to someone. Never went to doc appts, He was supposed to get tested for some genetic reasons, he never did. It was a really hard pregnancy, for the first time in my life I felt like I had no power. My daughter was born and not once did he wake up with her, change her, feed her unless I practically forced him. It was heart breaking to watch someone not care about their own beautiful newborn daughter. Needless to say I left, when my daughter was about 9 months old I met my husband. I worked at a bank, one day at the mall with my daughter he recognized me, and stopped me. He practically worshiped my daughter, he had three kids ( in his time ..lol) so it was amazing to me how natural he was and she LOVED every minute of it. I'm could go on forever about all the was my husband saved me from my darkest saddest days but this is not about that. 

He knows it still hurts to know I went through that.. one day he invited me to dinner and while we're talking I said I had pretty much given up on a father my daughter.. " if her own dad doesn't care about her, why would I ever believe some guy would, I'll be her mom and dad" .. he looked at me shocked, eyes watering. I know now how ridiculous that is, and he's right, I can't let some heartless douchebag and my bitterness take those chances away from my daughter. 

He's always said he wants me to do it all over again, do it together. "Show you how wonderful it is to be pregnant, loved and taken care of." 

My daughter calls him daddy, he treats her like a princess and adores her. I love our family. 

We did research for TTC couples, read up on age differences and how that would delay, risks etc., a couple months ago We started <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">tracking ovulation</a>, periods, taking nasty maca ("magic baby dust"), switching to 'pre-seed' and stocked up on Ovulation and pregnancy tests. We thought we'd try it all before going for the really expensive treatments. 

And I got this, second one is from this morning and the first from the afternoon the day before. 

I honestly thought it would take longer. 

Apparently my man still got it. 😅😅

Ps: I don't usually go into all this on social media, forums blogs etc but I figured if I were to express my unusual events/life and the excitement of .. it would be here. 

I'm so shocked.