is it selfish to breastfeed your second but not your first?

I have 5 month old and I'm ttc my second (we want our first two children close together). I chose not to breastfeed my first, just because it was all new to me and I wanted to stick to what I was used to (my family has always bottle fed) and I have severe anxiety so I was really nervous about the breastfeeding in public thing. But now, I feel like I want to try breastfeeding with my next. I can't help feeling bad already though. I know breast is best and I'd feel like I'm being selfish if I breastfed my second but not my first? What do you think?