So tired of getting negatives. I literally wanna cry every time I see someone I know announcing they're pregnant or they keep sharing pictures of their baby. I got out shopping I walk past the baby stuff and I'm like that's really cute... Then I have to remind myself I not pregnant or I don't have a child. Then I get depressed. I hate myself for being a woman. For not being able to do what a woman is made to do. To bring life into the world. To love and take care of your child. This is not a hate towards you mommas out there. It just hurts seeing these things. Especially when you've been TTC(almost 5years for me) for so long. I get to thinking it'll never ever happen each and every month when AF shows up. I have a monthly break down because I'm not getting those two lines or a plus sign. And it really hurts when I have to tell my SO we have to try again. Then I have to see him be sad and blaming himself. I just pray that we get a positive soon if not I have no idea how I can live with myself as a woman.....