Depressed & Clueless

My son was born February 10th just 4 days after my birthday February 6th! Best birthday gift ever! My son is my biggest pride and joy. But after I had him, I've seen myself very depressed, feeling alone and to top it off I can't seem to lose weight. I mean I did get my ass back but not I can't fit into any of my jeans pre-pregnacy. I feel like I have lost all motivation to do anything. I try so hard but nothing seems to work. I have been extremely upset to the point I don't want to leave my house at times. I look at my self I don't like what I see in the mirror. I have tried everything to lose it but to me I don't see any change. My husband on the other hand is all over me, he compliments me and gas told me how I have lost weight since the baby. I look at him and say bullshit. I feel as big as a fucking whale. Before pregnancy I was slim thick..progressively losing and maintaining my weight lost. But now I can't seem to lose it or be content with myself. I feel so unhappy with myself and see myself more short tempered. My husband has mentioned that I am different from before, I am not as sweet and understanding as before.

BUT with my son I am not this way, I love being with my son. It's been extremely hard for me to return back to work. I HATE being away from him. I got my job to switch my schedule to two days a week and even then I'm using up vacation time to stay home.