I'm not quite ready to not post anonymously yet but I'm trying to be ok and better about that. Instead of submerging myself in frightening pictures of herpes outbreaks, I'm trying to read articles based on facts and sites that are breaking stigma. I know many art going through/have gone where I am now, so please bear with me 😔. I just got swabbed today but the two lesions were so small and one was already healing, so the NP said that it will likely come back negative and if that happens, she can give me a blood test. In the mean time, she says it does look like herpes and she prescribed me an antiviral. Although she cautioned me that it might not work because it's been longer than 48 hours but hopefully it'll make me feel better. I don't have many lesions and the lesions themselves aren't that bad but it's the other stuff: the sore theoat, fever, general cold/flu feeling, fatigue and that damn UTI feeling that is killing me. I feel like shit otherwise. The lesions are seriously the least of my problems right now- I can't get past the UTI feeling! The other thing is, let's say I get the blood test, what numbers would tell me I am newly infected v. me being infected for some time. I haven't spoken to my partner extensively about this. He has done some things in the past 😡 but I spoke to the NP and she said I could be the carrier, so either way it goes, I want to approach this thoughtfully and with facts. I'm also scared that even if he were the one who infected me (and clinically/statistically this would seem the case) he might not be understanding. I'm hoping anyone here can offer some support and encouragement. Positive results or not, I'm pretty sure I know the answer here...I'm just trying to be ok...thank you.