So about a year ago, I was in a long term relationship with a guy. He always seemed to put pressure on me to become more sexual with him but me not knowing anything and wanting to please him of course I'd do stuff with him. This was kind of how the whole relationship was. Him pressuring me to send nudes and other sexual things. I'd always confront him about it and saying how he pressure me and he'd always say something like "I didn't mean to" etc. It wasn't until one day it occurred to me that this was wrong. Basically he pressured me into letting him perform oral on me. I said "I don't know" but of course he roped me back in. I got super upset because I really didn't want to but never said anything until that night when I texted him. A few months after I broke up with realizing it was a toxic situation. I have a new boyfriend who treats me so well and always asks if anything is ok and he's like the complete opposite of my ex.

Anyways, for some reason I was reminded of what happened and I didn't know what to feel about it. Basically I'm trying to figure what this actually was...like was this considered rape or abuse or something? During the relationship I would want to do things with him occasionally but most of it was him pressuring me because I would always say "I don't know" and he'd try to convince me to. I'm just confused because I don't feel very effected by this happening to me either. I just notice that a lot of victims have anxiety or nightmares or something but I just don't feel anything. I feel stupid for dating a manipulative guy like that but I don't feel as if it's effected me forever? I don't know if that makes sense.

Again sorry for the long back story, I'm just trying to comprehend this still even after a year. Any advice would be great!