was I raped/sexually abused? Opinions please😣

When I was 14 I started dating an 18 year old. Our relationship was incredibly unhealthy and toxic. We were on and off for 5 years, until I broke it off for good when I was 18 and he was 22. During the course of our relationship, he pressured and guilted me at 14 into masturbating when I didn't want to and was scared to as well as mocking me and putting me down as a 16 year old for not being ready to have sex or any kind of sexual contact. 
At 18 he started forcing himself on me, forcing me to put my hand in his pants, forcibly putting his hands in my pants, taking my close off, and rubbing himself on me, all while I was completely stiff and saying no, not reciprocating at all, but he ignored me. 
He never penetrated me, but he rubbed his penis against me and forced his hand inside me when I didn't want him to and said no and it hurt and I was not turned on in the slightest. 
I've had problems with coming to terms with what his all means. I'm now 21. 
I struggle with wondering if I was sexually abused or not, because I didn't actively fight, but I did say not and told him to stop and that I didn't want to. I would try to pretend being sick or asleep but he still would. 
And if this is considered sexual abuse, was I raped? Since he didn't penetrate me with his penis, but he did with his hands, idk if that "counts". I'm just very troubled about this all. 
If you've read this far, and have any kind of input on if you think what i went through was abuse or rape, please let me know. Thank you. 

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